Wake Up!

I'm feeling kind of spent. done. over. In my mind this brings thoughts of giving up and going back to a 'normal' life where I could find a decent job(or go back to an old one!) and live life as society says to live it. As these feelings of un-normalcy come up, does it make me actually want to quit and go back to the way things were? Not at all. This last year has been the happiest I've been in many. I miss people, things, places and whatnot - but life can and will go on from here.

This morning that spent and over with feeling is still lingering. As I prayed for clarity on what we should be praying in our Pray the Bible time, I was receiving nothing. My mind was blank and I felt more like just resting in the Lord than anything(though the word 'rest' can be used as an excuse some days). I was feeling pressure to hear, and getting nothing. When it was decided what we would pray for(not by me), I got up and began looking through the passages. At the same time a song popped into my mind so I started humming(see less is more on a previous post), and I turned to look at one of the new wall hangings here in the chapel(see below).
At this point it all became clear.
Earlier this morning I started writing in my journal about how I used to be(and still am at times) a very cynical person, and how recently I've been feeling some extreme bitterness. Its not a nice feeling, and I believe its where the thoughts of wanting to be normal and being spent and done may be rooted from.
You see, the cynicism has been passing as I become closer with Christ. The bitterness has been building as I am trying to figure out how to really live out that closeness with Him. There is a hole somewhere, and the devil is attempting to widen it. It had been working until I realized that I just needed less of me and more of Christ - oh man, its never easy!
So this morning, as we prayed for the believers in Bangor, it hit me(personally and for Bangor)! Less is more! How simple that sounds.

Less of human nature, more of Christ. Only then will His roots begin to grow.
New creatures, Deat to Sin, Alive to God, Walking in the newness of life.

Walk in it. Sometimes people will only see who they want to see, the old person, the person who used to live in you, the sinful person. You are a new creation in Christ Jesus. Old things are gone, new things have come. Less of you, more of Him.
When others are looking at the old you, and that's all they see, remember that they themselves need to walk in who they are with Christ. If they cannot see the newness in themselves, how will they possibly see it in you? By you walking in it, that's how! If you allow their words of accusation, of anger, of attack get to you, then you are not walking in the newness of the Lord. The enemy is holding onto you and getting you through the words of your brother or sister.
The revelation of the newness hasn't been received to its fullness. Receive it! Walk it out! When you walk it out, that's when they(I hope) will see. If you don't then it will be harder for you and for them.
I haven't been walking in the newness of who I am in Christ these past couple of weeks(I'm thankful to a friend who pointed out this truth to me yesterday as I cried over the phone to him) and neither have manyof the people around me. The thing is, now I can see but they are still blind. I need to walk; wake up from the dead. I'm not really spent and its nowhere near being over!