Spent some time this evening chatting with a good friend that I haven't physically seen in some time (years, actually). We seem to be in a similar sort of position where we are thinking about friendship, what it means to be a friend and have a friend. I believe this comes from a real deep desire to be connected to people.
Being in relationships with people (yes, friendships are relationships!) is not at all easy. They are messy and beautiful all at the same time. They can bring you such amazing happiness, yet such serious hurt. Does that mean relationships aren't worth it cause they are hard work? Not at all. This makes my desire for close connections grow even more!
My friend had written his own blog around this topic (which he has since deleted) - and he mentioned near the end that being alone isn't such a bad thing, that solitude can be very beneficial and even Jesus was alone a lot. That got me thinking. Yea, sure, Jesus took the time away to spend with the Father for rest and refreshment, knowing that solitude would do that for Him. He wasn't alone in His ministry, though. The 12 were with him. So they made mistakes in their friendship (like falling asleep when Jesus asked them to keep watch), they doubted. But in the end, Jesus wasn't alone. The 12 were chosen to minister along side Him, being the one's he would confide in and go to with things.
I say this because I have been desiring real, strong friendships lately. I have a desire to be friends with people who are going to stick with me through the mess and beauty; the happiness and hurt. When friendships I thought would last for years to come fade, and even fizzle to nothingness, it makes me question, were we really friends and all? Why did I seriously put all the effort in? Was it worth it for where we're at right now?
I want to answer yes to all of those questions. Sadly, I can't just yet. Maybe soon. Hopefully soon.
blessings.
3 weeks ago
2 comments:
It's kind of a personality thing. Some people are super social and have a million "friends". Perhaps their needs are more-or-less met. I am the type that longs to have a few very meaningful friends. I have 3 friends, the four of us called "Jim Guys". We have been friends for about 17 years or so. Other friends and communities have come and gone... but these friends I know will always be there for me, and I think they know the same of me. I struggle with the whole million acquaintances. I find that it simply drains my energy, trying to invest something in them. Though, right now, I think I'm hoping to find a couple more "forever friends." I recently lost the most important friend of all in my life (aside from Christ)... and I need at least a couple to replace her. God has been faithful in giving me exactly what I need through various channels. In fact, He Himself has become MUCH more the friend to me recently. I hope not to lose this. He is precious to me, and I'd be a fool to forget it, trying to replace Him. He will always be there.
i hear you, Dee. I read an excellent book on this very subject. Its called "11" by Leonard Sweet. I highly recommend it!!! It analyzes the types of friends you need to go through life. . based on friend 'types' in the Bible. It also encourages us to think of what kind of friends we are in return to others. . and each chapter ends in some really challenging exercises. .
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