what if

This blog has been a couple days in the making.

Its interesting to me to think about the times in my life when I reach that point of conviction about various sins. Once again, I've been at that point recently. There is sin that has been plaguing me since moving to Bangor. I believe it has something to do with me living alone, though I won't get into it all in detail.
Why I find my conviction interesting is because of the way God reveals Himself to me throughout it. For example, I was recently feeling some heavy convition for sin that has popped back into my life. I repented, but felt though I had missed something in my repentance process(is it actually possible to miss something when you are repenting whole-heartedly?? Hmmm....that's another thing to think about). Insert God's revelation here. Its amazing. I left my house to walk to the Corps, turned on my ipod and the lyrics of the first song reminded me that there was nothing more I could do. Its done and over.
Continuing on in my sin(I hate the devil!), I came under heavier conviction a couple days later. I left my house, turned on my ipod and the first song played(I had it on shuffle both times)was the same song. Amazing! This time however, I struggled a little more. I cried out to God as I walked, repenting and telling Him that I really just didn't know how to get past this sin. First song ends, second song starts. Insert more revelation here. I believe at this point that I actually started laughing out loud.
Yesterday I confessed my sin to some good friends who I know will pray for me. Some friends who really understand what I'm going through and who love me through it all. This is why its taken a couple days to share. This thing between me and God is a process. Being obediant to Him stinks sometimes, and it not usually easy. In the end its all worth it. I love the ending!
The end came for me yesterday, when one of these beautiful friends of mine sent me this reminder:
"you are a slave to righteousness"and there is nothing you could do to make Him love you less.

I am not usually into sharing lyrics on here. Since these songs helped me out, I think its appropriate to share some words bare in mind these are two separate songs...

What have I done to deserve your Son sent to die for me? What can I give? I want to live, give me eyes to see In a world that keeps changin’ there’s one thing that I know is true Your love is stayin’, there’s nothing else I’ll hold onto.
You say I belong to You, apart from the things I do You say I belong to You,
I’m in awe of why You do

Jesus, I pray
Take all my mistakes
Throw them away
Destroy them for my sake
Jesus, I call out 'cause I'm sorry

Because I fall so short of your glory
To the best of my ability
I'm practicing humility
And I lay myself before
'Cause less is more

Blessings.